People who adapt are able to organize their thoughts in ways that generate appropriate, positive action. Adaptive abilities are necessary when changes occur in individuals and their circumstances.
Adaptive behaviors are age-dependent skills that allow us to successfully participate in activities of daily living throughout our lives. We can also think of adaptive behaviors as skills that allow us to be flexible when there is change in our personal or professional lives.
If we are adaptive, we will react to unexpected events or non-constructive actions in creative or constructive ways. The adaptive individual can refocus the mind in new directions and make choices based on desired outcomes. He or she is open to change, knowing that it’s the set of sail that matters – not the direction of the wind.
Consider these five life skills to deal constructively with changing circumstances in everyday life.
1. Stop and think to avoid misinterpretation. Give yourself time to analyze the situations thoroughly. View the actions and circumstances from different angles and perspectives to get an accurate understanding of what happened. If there are people involved, report your concerns and ask questions to obtain information that may not be clear. This will allow you to make informed decisions.
2. Think long term. Ask yourself “what if?” Questions. Think about the consequences of handling the situation in different ways. Ask, “What do I have to lose?” and “What do I gain?” “How might this choice affect my family, my friends, myself, and my future?”
3. Willingness to change with continuous learning. Change is constant in everyone’s life. The skills needed to meet different needs will change throughout life. We’ll still need up-to-date knowledge in areas like self-care, relationships, parenting, and finances.
4. Look below the surface. We welcome challenges. Each challenging situation gives you a chance to grow wiser and more skillful. Somewhere, someone has successfully dealt with the same situation. Even circumstances that seem most devastating carry within them the seed of a new blessing. Those who seek these blessings will eventually find them.
5. Be clear about your values: the principles that guide your actions. Then look at your needs: those things that need to be met in ways that stay true to your values. Ask yourself this question: “Is my reaction an attempt to satisfy a personal need in a healthy way, or is it a creative solution to another problem?” Then ask, “Does my choice of work align with my core values?”
Conscientious reflection on these skills has helped many of my clients make positive choices in situations that require adaptive change and problem-solving. They can also help you. May each new challenge make you wiser, more skilled, more adaptive, and more loving, today and in the future too.
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