Grief is an essential life skill: knowing how to survive grief means feeling safe to take on other risks, and grief actually increases one’s ability to love. The longer you live, the greater the need to understand grief. Expressing grief and respecting your loved ones is very important to the grieving process. The symbol of grief over the loss of one person reminds us all of our grief for anyone we have lost. Understand the stages of grief so that you are not surprised or anxious as each stage approaches.
Phase
Grief is an organic process, it has its own wisdom, and it needs a witness. There is nothing you can do about a loss, so the sadness, anger, and frustration you feel are normal reactions to circumstances. So you go through the stages of grief: shock, anger, seeking, depression, and peace. It is normal to feel the fear and anger that this is happening, the need for prayer and comfort, bouts of exhaustion, exhaustion, detachment, depression, and finally, the acceptance and understanding that this devastating event is part of the perilous life we all live. These feelings will come mixed, they will be recycled, and they will come in a different order.
Anniversaries are very important in the grieving process. Each time the anniversary comes around, the survivors re-experience the original loss. The first year of grieving is the hardest, because it presents you with anniversaries and/or holidays all year long and each year is the first time without your loved one. The second year is somewhat easier, because you’ve survived each anniversary once. The actual anniversary of the event is the day that marked the change in your life, so this event is still significant to most people. Commemorating your loss with a celebratory event (such as posting on a grief site, visiting a memorial or special place, or gathering friends and family around you) helps you feel better. It also helps to include a reference to the person who was lost on each important occasion, such as wedding anniversaries, religious holidays, and birthdays. Allowing yourself to grieve is really important, because disclosing feelings in an appropriate way prevents them from building up.
loss of a spouse
Whether the marriage was good or problematic, you will grieve the loss of a spouse. In the event of a divorce, you are grieving what might have been, what was, and the loss of your hopes and dreams. After the death of a spouse, you are grieving the loss of that most important person in your life: It feels like a huge hole in your heart, your life, and in the middle of it all. Either way, you’ll likely go through the stages of grief: denial (when you forget he’s gone) anger (because of being abandoned, about all the things that went wrong, sometimes anger at yourself, and at God) experimentation/replacement (trying new things, finding new friends, new clothes, a hairstyle or a car) depression (very sad days, when you can’t get out of bed or your life feels completely hopeless) and total acceptance (when you can’t get out of bed or your life feels completely hopeless).
Sudden or gradual loss
Grief for losing someone suddenly is different than grieving for someone who is gradually dying, or fading from brain problems such as Alzheimer’s disease. With a sudden loss, the trauma is heightened and the grieving process is delayed. With gradual loss, we mourn the person who is dying or lose consciousness as the process continues. Grief is often complete by the time the person dies. This is sometimes confusing to survivors.
what should be done
take it easy. You will heal. Spend time with people you trust. Plan ahead for holidays and anniversaries, so you won’t be lonely and miserable. Don’t worry about feeling shy, weak, ashamed, tired, angry, and frustrated; These are all normal parts of grieving and healing. Take good care of yourself & emdash; Sleep, nutrition, and exercise will all make you feel better. If you want to try something new, that’s fine, but don’t make any drastic decisions at the first pain of loss. You don’t think very clearly, take a trip, but don’t move around the country. Stay with a friend when you’re feeling lonely, but don’t jump into a new relationship. Also, be careful about financial decisions and your financial future. Don’t make decisions when you’re feeling hopeless, panicked, or angry. Wait a while for it to stabilize. If you have to make decisions during this time, rely on good advice from people you trust.
Get support
Don’t try to survive this on your own. Seek support from friends and family, or find a grief group. They offer many churches and hospitals. If you need further help, don’t hesitate to seek treatment. Whether your therapist is helping you work through your grief, your “abandonment issues,” or simply coaching you in building your new life, objective voice can be really helpful and make all the difference.
Add Comment