good news! The people skills that form the core of effective leadership skills are strong outside the world of work. They foster strong relationships with friends and family. You can – and should – use them with your children.
Think about what people skills include: listening, keeping an open mind when engaging in dialogue, accepting feedback people give you, helping people learn from experience, and conflict resolution, to name a few. Yes, doing these things well is essential to getting the best work out of your team. But clearly, these are life skills.
It’s essential to being a parent. Keeping an open mind while talking to a teen – this doesn’t come naturally. The child will explode with something emotional, say something that will anger or shock you. Your instinct is to say, “You shouldn’t be saying that.” This is not a dialogue. The end of the conversation.
If a plumber sends you a bill, but doesn’t fix things right, can you resolve the dispute? Can you get what you need while the plumber gets what he needs?
If you are trying to buy a car, you need to listen, give your opinion, and negotiate. The same interpersonal skills essential for effective leadership will turn out to be vital in your personal life. This is because they are all about getting results through people. Leaders need to do this, but so do others.
And it’s not just people skills. They are also the personal strengths that leaders need to be strong when facing tough challenges. You need behavior patterns such as patience, perseverance, tolerance, trust, integrity, compassion – and all dozens of other personal strengths. Each of these strengths is essential to how you deal with people who are away from the workplace. Obviously, there are costs to not engaging these strengths when dealing with people in your community, or when communicating with members of your family.
It is likely that most, if not all, of the skills and strengths that leaders draw upon are also essential to being an effective human being. If you use effective leadership skills at work, they can be there for you in your personal life. If you fail as a leader, there will very likely be consequences in other areas of your life as well. Your personal strengths will help you succeed no matter what you do – whether you’re in sales or providing customer service. They make a huge difference, whether you are a teacher, coach, counselor, or parent.
Effective leadership skills and personal strengths are the foundation and essential aspect of effectiveness that will make you strong no matter what you do. When you have to do something difficult, your personal strengths will help you get through it.
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